The annual NCW conference looms on the horizon. Many of us are sprucing up those manuscripts to impress professionals of the literary world, not least of which are agents you hope to woo.

You've got 50,000 words to show off, but you'll only have a page or two to make a solid impression. Story elements are in place.  Taking steps to make sure it is as strong as it can be. One of the keys to good writing is strong external critique. The good news is many common shortcomings are avoidable.

It doesn't serve to waste professional feedback on something you could have spotted and repaired on your own.

A quick chapter one checklist is a mighty tool.

I have a strong opening line.

Opening stories with Once upon a time was only acceptable once upon a time. It would help if you had an enticing lead to summarize the essence of your piece in a concise way that will frame the final act. The opening statement may or may not double as the hook.

Seven Ways to Create a Killer Opening Line for Your Novel

My hook is in place, and it is enticing.

The hook should happen immediately. Don't give readers an excuse to put your book down. This the initial statement in which you invite your reader's curiosity enough to draw them into the story.

 Narrative Hook

I build to my inciting incident and execute it with a flourish.

The inciting incident is the early episode that launches the character into the story. It is the critical moment when your protagonist, willing or not, embarks upon the journey of your novel. It need not occur as early as the hook but don't keep readers waiting for long. Their bags are packed, and they're ready for this ship to launch!

Write an Awesome Inciting Incident - Three Things to Do

I have avoided the clichés.

Don't fall into the common pitfalls. Learn to recognize them, and you may save yourself a lot of time and effort. No dark and stormy nights, please! The trick here, however, is knowing the clichés and recognizing them. Here is a fantastic resource from Nelson Literary Agency's Pub Rants blog to help you out.

Nine Story Openings to Avoid

I have streamlined my prose until it hurt. Then I simplified it some more!

Be concise. Don't load your readers up on backstory, inner dialogue, or flowery prose. Your first pages are premium real estate, and every word should pull its weight. James Scott Bell, in his book Revision and Self-Editing for Publication, asks writers to consider whether chapter two could open your book. If it can, perhaps it should.

Seven Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your First Chapter

It's perfectly okay if you haven't checked off all of the boxes. The thing to remember is if your writing is strong, your voice compelling, and your work polished it won't kill you to have crafted one of these scenes. The better question is does chapter one serve the story and the reader. If so, you may be ready for your literary rendezvous. If not, it's never too late to polish things up.

Either way, an excellent first chapter will set your book up for success, so take your time to make it great!

Don't miss out on NCW's conference! 

 

    By David E. Sharp

I liked poetry in high school. Loved it, even. In that time and place, the only people who got enthusiastic about poetry were the English teachers, and even some of them weren’t keen. These were the days before being a nerd was cool. Kids my age were into popular music, popular culture, and football. I learned to keep my poetic inclinations to myself, none of my friends would have understood.

I’m not a poet. I’ve never pretended to be.

Except for one, Gretchen, who gave me A Treasury of the World’s Best-Loved Poems one year for Christmas. She wrote on the title page that I should read The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes first, which I did. Such a tragic and beautiful poem. The first lines of this poem about a haunted New England roadhouse pulled me in:

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,

 The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,

 The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor, 

And the highwayman came riding—

         Riding—riding—

The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

Bess, the landlord’s black-eyed daughter, shot herself to warn her rogue lover that an ambush of Red Coats awaited him. How wonderfully romantic! It broke my 15-year-old heart.

I’ve taken that volume of poetry everywhere I have lived in the world. It has always had pride of place on my bookshelf. Still, I never thought I could write poetry myself beyond the usually terrible limerick:

There once was a guy from the Rockies

Who liked to parade in his Jockeys.

He got quite a scare

From a wandering bear

Who was strutting around in his khakis.

Don’t give up my day job, I know, but that won’t stop me from reading poetry, and writing some, and using what I learn to improve my prose. In poetry, every word is essential. Learning how to use language effectively is part of how you can draw your reader in and train their attention on the things you want them to notice. It can influence their emotions as they read. It can make your writing so much better.

So even if you aren’t a poet, I encourage you to study poems. Take a class or attend a poetry session at the next writing conference. (Here’s a good one: https://northerncoloradowriters.com/Conference ). Fall in love with words again, your writing will improve. Poetry can make that happen.

How to Write a Poem: 8 Fundamentals for Writing Poetry That’s Meaningful

Poetry 101: Getting Started

36 Poetry Writing Tips

By Ronda Simmons

You are likely familiar with narrative arc (the path that characters take within a story's plot) and character arc (the changes characters undergo throughout the story). But you may not be familiar with symbolic arc—the evolving use of a recurring symbol in fiction.

 

I first encountered this important concept while reading Isaac Babel's Red Cavalry, a collection of short stories depicting the author's experiences during the Polish-Soviet war (1919-1921). Simple images like a burning candle are introduced in brightly lit night scenes with romantic fervor. By the book's end, candles are grimy, dim, and spent.

 

Brontë's Jane Eyre uses the changing meaning of symbolism to reflect relationship ambivalence. Birds are a metaphoric symbol of both captivity and freedom.

 

In my Civil War novel, Dread Tribunal of Last Resort (shameless plug: coming in July from Five Star), a Bowie knife takes on multiple meanings. Decker Brown introduces the blade as his father's prized possession, as evidenced by a ritual of sharpening, even when the knife goes unused. Though estranged from his father at the start of the war, Decker finds the weapon wrapped in his bundle after heading off to fight. As such, the blade becomes a symbol of unconditional love.

 

After the war, Decker (now running a business in Richmond) gives a Bowie knife to his foreman. It's not the same Bowie (his father's knife was lost at Shiloh). And Decker does nothing so evident as to think back to his father's knife (which would be a mild insult to the reader).

Though only five years have passed, the war has radically altered Decker—he now plays the father's role. The knife underscores the contentious relationship he has with the man to whom he gifts the blade. This echoes his relationship with his own father. And tells the reader what Decker could never bring himself to say out loud.

 

Nathaniel Hawthorne wasn't a master of subtlety on this one.

A few notes about symbolic arcs:

• Your symbols can be items (icons), recurring metaphors, or even universal symbols (water symbolizing birth, approaching storms expressing inner turmoil).

• You can fit symbols anywhere because they are often revealed as tiny details. What colors do your characters wear? What books do they read? Does any of the meaning change throughout your novel?

• Symbols don't have to change. They can, for example, be used to introduce or tag a character.

• Symbols are often missed by the casual reader. Don't let that bother you. On one level, the accumulated impression of symbolism will add to the overall effect of the piece. And a subtle (even hidden) symbol can serve as an "Easter Egg" for the careful reader, rewarding that reader's deeper plunge.

• Don't be obvious. In high school, my English teacher read a passage from "The Scarlett Letter." For laughs, I interrupted the reading, calling out, "Aha! A symbol!" I got laughs. I got a "C" in the course. I blame Hawthorne.

 

We all have our rituals. The first cup of coffee in the morning. And we have our icons. I have a dead bat in formaldehyde on my desk, gifted to me by a daughter with a shared sense of humor.

What are your character's rituals and icons? And how do those very human elements change as the story arc progresses? One more layer of resonance for your work in progress.

 

Symbolism 101

Connecting Themes with Symbolism

Symbolism And Subtlety

By Brian Kaufman

I'm about to jump into the querying trenches again. This time with a new novel and hundreds of writing hours under my belt on this recent work of magnificence. My last magnificent opus inched up the ladder of success until the ladder was unceremoniously yanked from under my feet. I'm second burn shy. Is it going to be easier this time around? It's possible, but unlikely.

At least my skin is thicker, and I know what to expect.

I am not young enough to know everything.

― Oscar Wilde

I had a plan, a schedule that my writing life would take:

• MFA by 30 (achieved!)
• a few short stories published to some attention
• find an agent who thought I was a fantastic writer (found an agent who liked my story)
• publish a novel that would catch on and garner a loyal following (nope not yet).

But hope springs eternal, it's just taking a meandering path.

William Shakespeare wrote 39 plays, 154 sonnets, and several works by collaboration, and was deemed "The Bard" of England. He was 52 when he died. I am 52.

[Note to self: consider deleting this section, so fewer readers think you are comparing yourself to Shakespeare, which you are definitely not!]

I may envy his word count, but not that hairline.

Of course, the average lifespan in the 16th century was 40. So that puts things into perspective.

Let it go? Should I let my personal writing schedule go?

[Note to self: maybe change the subhead, so fewer readers think I'm being cheesy and using a worn-out cliché from a Disney movie]

After all, much of what I wanted is out of my hands:

• finding an agent who thinks I'm worth the risk, is as much a matter of serendipity as it is perseverance.
• getting traditionally published can be a long wait for a slow boat in this ever-changing market.
• attracting a loyal following can have you feeling like Sisyphus.

The one thing I absolutely control is writing, writing, writing, which I do. Am I a better writer since I was 30? You betcha.

Last year, in Forbes Magazine, Pia Silva made a gut-wrenching point. In today's world of self-publishing, too many people are focused on the fact they can publish a book rather than if they should.

That's not saying independently published books aren't worth the ink. Given the volatility of the publishing industry right now, I don't blame writers. But, there is no denying a market flooded with self-published books makes it hard to find those quality gems. And we all know of a self-published book or two that was wanton murder of a few trees.

While I'm working on the traditional route, the same question is valid. Just because I want to get my story published, doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen. Waaaaah!

But then I came across mention of eighty-year-old Roberta George, who took twenty years to finish her manuscript and find a publisher. I'm a spring chicken when you think about reaching eighty years old.

Eighty is the new forty. Robert George.

[Note to self: perhaps you should limit your glee, so you don't inadvertently insult those readers in their eighties because that is not the intent! Some of the most amazing people are in their eighties, like my father who is a talented writer]

This tidbit reminds me not to put too much credence in my schedule. And his prolific word count wasn't the only thing Shakespeare had going for him.

Nothing will come of nothing.

--- William Shakespeare

It is easier said than done when I reach each birthday. Will I let go of the things I can't control? Only if someone pries my fingers off the keyboard as I write query letter after query letter. Will I continue to try even if I'm in my 80s still striving to get my stories published?

Late Blooming Authors

Writers Who Started Later in Life

Debut Author at 64 Years Old

 

   By Eleanor Shelton

Character voices are one of a writer's greatest tools when trying to create lively and interesting characters. While an author's voice is about individual style of writing, characterization is the arrangement of a variety of trappings. These effects not only help distinguish a character's voice from the author's voice, but ideally create genuine personalities.

Careful composition of these voices can give characters authenticity saving a writer from cheese and trope.

Don't Rely on Dialects.

Your character may have a dialect, but don’t force one by writing it phonetically. Your readers won’t delight at your vocal versatility so much as grumble at you for taking them out of the flow of your narrative. An occasional drop of enunciation or of the last syllable works for a reader. 

Maybe a bit of Spanglish or the sporadic outburst in their native language can help a reader nail the sound of a characters voice without pounding them over the head.

 

Utilize sentence structure and phrasing.

Language is how our characters present themselves to the world. It’s a combination of the character’s nature, experience, values and drive erupting right out of a single imaginary larynx. Characters can be polite, abrupt, determined, or confused. All of these behaviors can be revealed by word choice or phrasing. 

Consider a warehouse during a zombie attack:

Shall we head out?

Come with me.

Yeah, let's stay here where we could be killed.

Maybe we should get moving.

Let's move.

Don't Make Your Characters Information Dumpers.

We all do it. Those first drafts are full of information dumps. It is tempting to reformat all of that precious data into dialogue. We must consider if it feels natural as a conversation. If in doubt, read it aloud. Language that seems too flowery or formal is a flow killer. 

Consider being chased by dubious agents.

Billy and Suzie have just darted into an abandoned alleyway clutching at their stomachs and gasping for breath. “Those mysterious agents in black suits and dark glasses nearly got us,” says Billy. “Who do you think they were?”

“I don’t know,” says Suzie, “If we hadn’t rushed into traffic, weaving around rushing cars at great risk to our personal health and then raced up a fire-escape, I am quite sure they would have caught us. I’ve never been so afraid since our parents died tragically in that roadrunner stampede exactly six years ago.”

“Ah, yes,” says Billy, “I remember the day. Let’s stop escaping certain danger for a moment and relive our tragic past for no particular reason. It was a sunny day. Beautiful and temperate in wild roadrunner country…”

Nonverbal Communication Appeals to All Five of Our Senses.

Just as in the real world, characters must respond to events in the world you've built. Readers may or may not have access to the unfiltered inner voice depending on how you structure your story.

Writers are responsible for the silent thoughts that can provide characterization for readers. Dialogue is a single channel medium. Nonverbal communication travels across multiple channels. Not only the actions your character takes, but decisions and reactions play an important role in character development as well.

Again with The Mysterious Agents.

Billy and Suzie darted into the abandoned alleyway clutching at their stomachs and gasping for breath. “Who? Who were they?” asked Billy, leaning with wobbly legs against the stained brick wall.

Suzie braced herself against a dumpster. “I don’t know.”

“But why would they?” Billy asked. “Why?”

“I said I don’t know, Billy! Do you understand I don’t know!” Suzie turned to face him. “All I can say is we better not let them find us.”

Billy held back sobs and wiped the wetness from his eyes. “I’m just so scared, Suzie. I wish Mom and Dad were here.”

Suzie sat down next to him and cradled his head into her shoulder with one hand. “Yeah,” she said, “I know.”

POV Can Be a Powerful Tool Or A Ridiculous Distraction.

The point of view we write from can also help us manifest our characters for our readers. This is narrative voice and using the different formats can influence a reader's feeling about a character. One of our favorite people, Chuck Wendig, works almost exclusively in third person, present tense. He does it extremely well and explains his choice on his blog. 

We are communicators. It's why we write. We have a broad array of tools to strengthen the impact of our language. Let's use them.

By David E. Sharp

Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.

 --- William Faulkner

We've heard this advice over and over. I know, at some point, reading became another item on my checklist. Sure, we try to read within the genre we prefer to write, but eeking out time to read when some of us struggle to find time to write can be a chore.

Read outside your genre.

How many of us have heard this piece of advice? I know I had to the point it became just another item on my checklist. But then, I started to think about it a little deeper. Why are we told to do this? "To strengthen your skills. To look at how other authors use the same story elements."

All good things, sure. Do I walk over to the westerns and pick something up? Where should I start?

Reading with purpose helps you decide where to look and what to pick up.

Look at your writing to help you decide. What areas of your manuscript need some sprucing up?

How's your pacing? Too fast? Pick up a classic of nearly any genre to slow down on the foggy moors. Not fast enough? Thrillers are known for slamming their foot on the gas and asking, "what brakes?".

Is your setting falling flat? Check out fantasy and sci-fi to add a little bit of wonder and flare. Stilted prose? Grab some poetry. Too wordy? Snatch up a short story. Are your characters doing the 2-D two-step? Literary fiction dives so deep into the character that it makes submarines jealous.

Historical fiction, young adult, romance, mystery, horror--each area has strengths and weaknesses. So, when you decide what to read, read for those.

Don't limit yourself to the fiction section to read outside your genre.

Read a history book. Read a language manual. Read about business practices, knitting, and humor. (Seriously, do yourself a favor and pick up a humor book, we all need a laugh.)

Biographies could inspire your next character. History could reveal a new setting or an intriguing artifact to base a plot around. Can you kill someone with knitting needles? Also, who isn't a fan of witty banter?

Business executives need a lot of creative thinking to stay ahead in their fields, and they are exponentially more productive than I am, that's for sure. 

Heck, even an SAT prep book can give you a plethora of random facts and a nice jolt to your vocabulary.

Now go a little farther.

Don't think you need to stop with just reading outside your genre. Every art has something to offer and views the world differently than we do.

Movies are known for their dialogue. Actors take characterization to crazy levels that frequently make the news. Artists see the world in colors and lines, musicians in notes and rhythms, and chefs in flavors and textures.

JC Lynne pulls headlines for stories as well. The Esau Continuum

A Book That Started with Pictures

April J Moore discovered a box of photos that inspired a true crime tale. Folsom's 93

Jeffrey Eugenides And Tiresias

Jim Campain chooses history to frame his stories. Mysterious Miss Snoddy.

   By Miranda Birt

Miranda Birt frequently pretends to know what she’s doing; sometimes it even turns out to be true. She went and got a massage degree, dropped out of traditional college a few times, and owned a small business. After a lot of work and heartbreak, she decided none of it was for her and started over yet again.

Now she spends much of her time at a day job in an attempt to fund her writing habits. Also, to pay down her student loans. Oh, and bills. Because, you know, important things.

Miranda is currently working on a fantasy novel along with puzzling out how exactly one goes about writing these “short” stories.

Like many people, I love crossword puzzles. Lately, I’ve been wondering if it would be possible to make a living as a cruciverbalist, a crossword puzzle maker, so I did some digging to find out.

The short answer is: No.

But, a person could make a little extra money on the side and have a whole lot of fun in the process. Here’s how to get started:

Know the Rules

Like everything else in the writing world, there are rules:

Use a standard grid size: 15x15, 17x17, 19x19, 21x21, or 23x23.

Your puzzle must have rotational symmetry, that is, whether you hold the puzzle right side up or upside down, the black spaces will be in the exact same pattern.

All characters must be used both horizontally and vertically.

No one or two-letter answers. Use three-letter solutions sparingly.

Isn't the symmetry beautiful?

It’s all about the theme.

Creating a crossword puzzle is like writing a sonnet. There are rigid rules, but within the accepted framework, you can write anything you want. The best cruciverbalists start with a theme. Figure out your theme entries first, then fill your grid in with shorter words.

A reliable technique is to have matching pairs of theme answers that can be placed symmetrically in the grid to satisfy rule number 2 above. For example, if your theme was the NCW conference, matching answers could be HANNAH (6) and AGENTS (6), two six-letter words.

You can use www.crosswordhobbyist.com to create your own puzzles.

Once you’ve got the answers, now write the questions. The thing that makes a cruciverbalist stand out from the crowd is the humorous way that she or he writes the clues.

Be clever! For example, for the answer “Thanksgiving,” you could write the question “November holiday.” Or you could be smart and write something like “eating pumpkin pie after this meal is worth putting up with your weird cousin Micky.”

How do I sell my puzzle?

Lots of newspapers and magazines have crossword puzzles and are potential clients. The larger ones might have in-house crossword compilers, but they still buy puzzles from freelancers.

Some puzzle agencies write crossword puzzles for selling to the publishing industry, such as Clarity Media and Tribune Content Agency.

Let's talk about money

The money you earn if your crossword is published depends upon the publication. For example, puzzles sold to The New York Times will make you more than other places for publication. A weekday puzzle for The New York Times will earn you $200, but the coveted Sunday puzzle is worth $1000.

The prices at other newspapers or magazines vary from $50 to $200 for 15x15 puzzles and from $150 to $300 for 21x21 puzzles. You can find submission instructions for American publications at http://www.cruciverb.com/ (look on the left for Publisher Specifications).

If you want to make money as a writer, sometimes you’ve got to think outside of the box. If you like crossword puzzles, try making one!

How Do You Make a Living, Puzzle Maker?

The New York Times Crossword: History, Facts, and Puzzle Answers

Crossword Puzzle Maker Career

By Ronda Simmons

Happy New Year. If you make resolutions, you probably have a writing goal. It’s officially deep enough into January for you to question that goal. You may even be wondering whether or not you should write.

Years ago, I took a Bob Ross painting class, having been assured that anyone could paint a picture worthy of hanging on the wall. I followed the instructor’s directions for over two hours, and at first, my painting looked all right (in a bought-it-from-the-dime-store sort of way).

 

Happy Little Clouds.

Near the end of the class, we had to add a bird to our skyscapes. My brush made an involuntary swoop, and for a moment, dinosaurs were reborn in the form of a one-winged pterodactyl. Horrified, I started to laugh. The instructor, who did not understand how close I was to tears, said, “Well, at least you have a sense of humor.”

 

Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim to doubt yourself. 
                                                                               --- Alan Alda       

I also play guitar and sing. I have a lovely custom, Fender Stratocaster, but I can’t play a clean chord. As for singing, imagine Bob Dylan gargling barbed wire.

 

My son Ryan likes to sew and draw. He’s a good cook. But the Thunderbolt of the Gods did not gift him with great artistic skill. A mutual friend of ours is job-searching, hoping to find something more emotionally satisfying. Ryan said, “I think even a dream job turns into a j-o-b after a while. If you want to be happy, you have to find other things to do.”

 

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.

                                                                        --- George Bernard Shaw

What this wise young man has discovered is the pure joy of art for art’s sake. He pursues different arts and crafts because it’s a fun way to build a life.

 

Did your New Year writing resolutions include success benchmarks? Mine did, until my discussion with Ryan. Instead, I’ve listed projects that I’d like to pursue solely out of enjoyment.

 

Tying this back to writing, some lucky souls derive deep, spiritual satisfaction from telling a story, whether or not the tale finds print.

 

In fact, writing is a beautiful pursuit at which to fail:

·     No one is going to look at your flash drive and shake their head in amused dismay (like friends look at my Fender Strat) because writing is inexpensive. How much does a Big Chief tablet cost?

·     Writing is quiet. I don’t have to wait for the house to empty to write. (Turning on my amplifier is a different matter.)

·     Writing doesn’t smell. I know some artists love turpentine and linseed oil. Weirdos.

·     Writers don’t have to share their work. If a cook makes dinner in a forest, did he really cook? Truth is, some things weren’t meant to be read (or tasted). I don’t make spaghetti anymore, and I have several novels that will never be read by anyone.

·     Even a lousy writer can get away with murder. Ask the characters based on people you know who met an untimely end in your stories.

 

It is a wine and SIP class.

Every few months, I go to one of the wine-and-paint places. Two of my paintings hang in the entryway of my house. (The rest ended up in a landfill.) And I keep playing that Fender, and once in a great while, I sit back and think, wow! That didn’t suck!

 

Titled "Hideous" by Brian Kaufman. (JC thinks it needs to be renamed.)

If goals and expectations and despair have coalesced for you this January, take heart. Success is a small, relatively unimportant part of the formula. Write because you love it. Write because art can make your soul smile.

Paint And Wine Parties

Writing And Painting

Paint Versus Prose

   By Brian Kaufman

It’s a new year. I’m trying to get excited about it. Just as I was trying to get into the spirit of the season, including gift-giving, house decorating, quality time with friends and family, overeating, celebrating, and planning for the year to come.

NaNoWriMo is over. Inspiration was sapped for the remainder of the year. You know how it goes. But for me, the holiday season comes with a lot of work travel and time with non-writers who look at me when I mention my passion for writing fiction as they would a platypus in a tank.

I’m a curiosity crossed with wonder.

“Why would you spend countless hours writing a book when you could be watching Breaking Bad?” 

You know you've watched some.

But what I’ve gotten lately is this: “They put out a lot of Hallmark movies during the holidays. You should try writing one. I hear they pay up to $30,000.”

Even Baby Yoda thinks that is whack. (Yes, TWB editor is obsessed with the BY. Deal with it.)

Huh?

“It's not really what I write. My stuff is about murder and mayhem. I doubt the networks want something like that for a feel-good holiday story. People suck, animals suffer, and children die.”

“Oh, so your stories are more like Agatha Christie?”

“Um, no, not really.”

They pause, and reframe the suggestion, thinking maybe I misunderstood their good intentions. “So, you think you might try writing for the Hallmark Channel? Can’t be that hard.” They lower their voices and whisper conspiratorially, “You could quit your job and fly to Hollywood. It could be on TV next Christmas.”

It made me think. I write what I write. You write what you write. Because that’s what we enjoy. But maybe Hallmark would be interested in altering its successful formula.

A new New Year goal?

There might be an audience for a family who takes their beloved cat on a road trip to visit Grandma.  The cat jumps out of the car and disappears into the desert. The family goes to visit Grandma because she owns an Ayurvedic Clinic. They hope to heal their volatile marriage and cure their child, who has contracted a new strain of the bubonic plague.

The cat ends up bunking down in a barn owned by a single woman who loves being by herself. The cat finds its talent for ridding the barn of mice and rats. Thus preventing more children from catching the plague so they can go on living another year to celebrate Christmas with their loving families who thinks Pop Tarts are real breakfast food and sweatpants that say “Juicy” all over the butt are fine to wear out in public.

Too bitter? Just enough grit? Hey, the cat lives.

Hallmark might be keen on such a story. I’ll get right on that. After all, they pay $30,000.

What it's like to write for Hallmark.

Writing for Hallmark

How to Get Published with Hallmark

By Eleanor Shelton  

My December blog post tradition of re-writing a holiday classic from a writer’s perspective was a no-brainer this year. Deepest thanks to Angie Hodapp of Nelson Literary for inspiring this reimagining. And apologies to Mr. Haven Gillespie who wrote the original. 

Agent Claus is Coming to Town 

 Forget cookies and milk, bring on the whisky! That sleigh is cold.

Oh! You better revise, 

I don’t mean to pry, 

You better format, 

I’m telling you why 

Agent Claus is coming to town 

 

She’s reading your pitch, 

She’s checking your comps, 

She’ll get you a deal, whatever you want. 

Agent Claus is coming to town 

 

She sees you when you’re working, 

She knows when you don’t write. 

She knows when you procrastinate,

So get your word count done tonight!

Because why miss a chance at one more baby Yoda? What child is this?

So . . . You better revise, 

I don’t mean to pry, 

You better format, 

I’m telling you why 

Agent Claus is coming to town 

 

Little contracts, and little rewrites. 

Revisey-vise-vise and working-all-night. 

Agent Claus is coming to town. 

 

Book launch parties, all about you, 

Dust jackets, bios and book signings, too. 

Agent Claus is coming to town. 

The folks in your critique group 

Will have a writing sprint, 

They’re going to get their first drafts done, 

To see who is first in print. 

 

Ohh… You better revise, 

I don’t mean to pry, 

You better format, 

I’m telling you why 

Agent Claus is coming to town! 

Meet The Agents Who Will Decline Your Novel

8 Myths about Agents

What Do Those Rejection Letters Mean

     

    By Ronda Simmons